You know me by name... I am your daughter, the sister of Jesus (the one I strive to be like) You delivered me into this world On July 11th 1981 as Luisa. You created me as a beautiful Hispanic/ Native American women. My husband and I came together at the age of 17, but we first met the day we were born. (we share the same birthday and we were delivered in the same hospital...just as you planned) God you've gifted me with 3 young men,1 sassy young lady and 2 Angel babies. I've been seeking you as long as I can remember. Sadly I let my worldly brokenness come between us... time and time again. By living in my brokenness I wasn't becoming the women you created me to be and I wasn't living my best life. Focusing on my relationship and my connection with you is the best thing I could do. My Faith was restored in July of 2010 at our home church (Echo Church). I wanted to share our journey together by taking this moment to glorify you. You've been so patient and so gracious with me. I am so grateful and thankful that you have LOVED and HEALED me through it all.
Everyday you think of me (PSALM 68), Every Hour you look after me (2 THESSALONICA 3:3), Every Minute you care for me (1 PETER 5:7); because Every Second you Love me (JEREMIAH 31:3).
Remember the first time we experienced a broken heart, I was 7. I remember my mom crying a lot and my dad not being his loving self and he started putting distance between us... My father was unfaithful not only to my mom but to me, my siblings and his promise to you. It's the first time in my life I questioned you, It's the first I thought you didn't love me. My little self wondered, if you loved me why would you place me in a broken family. This brokenness started to reshape me, it would take me 23 years to start the journey of forgiveness. You placed an amazing message in our church about forgiveness. I felt you working in me and I started on the path of healing.
God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing. All you need is Faith. - JOEL 2:25
(worship)-How great is our God!
Your blessing in disguise. Our family was expecting, and we were so excited. But early in the pregnancy, I knew something was wrong, they told me I had an ectopic pregnancy and my life was in danger. I was so scared, I was more concerned about my unborn baby then myself. After this heart breaking experience I was so weak physically, mentally and spiritually. The enemy knew he could strike my faith in you and at that time he found a weakness in my marriage. I didn't have the energy to fight for my marriage or for myself. I cried, I yelled... I questioned you and you fought for me, you Loved me and you carried me through it all.You gave us everything we needed to restore our marriage and our Faith in you. Faith is not believing that you can, its knowing that you will. I trust in you Lord.
The Lord will fight for you...you only need to be still - EXODUS 14:14
(worship)-It is well with my soul
You chose me to carry this preciouses gift, once again. This would be our fifth pregnancy. All I want to do was to be able to hold my baby, I wanted to enjoy this little blessing that was growing in me. I was trying to ignore fear creeping in my heart, I thought...would you really take this from me? On May 12th 2015 I had an appointment, I remember that day... its etched in my heart. I stared at my baby on the monitor, all I can think of is how much I love this baby and how much you love me. I started to feel this out of body experience as the doctor walked in the room. She said, Im so sorry... I have some bad news... your preciouses baby no longer has a heart beat. I felt the room go dark and my soul go numb .Soon after hearing this heart breaking news, I had to make a decision I can either have surgery or I can wait until my body is ready to let my baby go. God, I want answers from you, was I no longer worthy? Was I no longer the mother you wanted for this preciouses baby?
I waited... I waited to hear from you and nothing. My cries were to loud, my pain was too deep and my eyes were blinded by darkness. I wanted to keep this blessing with me, but I knew this would be the beginning of a long journey. I found my way to labor and delivery, they hooked me up just like any other delivery. I decided that I wanted to have my son naturally, I wanted my mind and body to feel the pain my soul was feeling. I was in labor for 19 and 1/2 hours, I was surrounded with a lot of Love and Prayers from family and friends. I thought this day was going to be the worst day of my life... but the Holy Spirit changed my heart that day. As I sat there in pain, I can hear other women delivering their full term babies. I prayed that they wouldn't have the same experience I was going to face..... to deliver your baby and hear ... silence. I can hear them screaming and then a baby crying. It brought me a small amount of peace knowing that their was life being brought in this world. I delivered my son Jayden Jesiah Flaris on May 14th 2015 at 12:45p. He weighed 3.4oz and his length 6 3/4 in.... my son was placed in the palm of my hands and I thought I have a good, good father.
I am so blessed, I am so worthy... you chose me to carry and delver one of your Angels. Yes, I was sadden that I couldn't feel his heart beat, feel his breath and I couldn't stare into his eyes. But I knew that his heart was beating in heaven and he took his first breath and God was there to welcome my son home.
Before you were formed, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart -Jeremiah 1:5
(worship) Good, Good Father by Chris Tomlin - Healer, You are for me -I Am not Alone- Holy Spirit by Kari Jobe - What a beautiful name By hill song
You placed me on an amazing journey in ministry ( at echo church). I came in as a young Christian and always felt a little unworthy of this blessing. I was so excited and honored to be part of an amazing family. I enjoyed every moment, the ups the downs and the friendships made. After having my daughter, it was hard for me to have a full time job and a full time home life. I started to struggle and I started to doubt myself in every part of my life.(being a wife, mother, my calling in ministry) I knew you were working in me for my next chapter but I couldn’t let go of what I felt defined me. My family and I grew so much in our Faith and our relationship with you and I didn't want us to lose that. The enemy knew he could sneak his way back in my life again...he told me I was unworthy, unwanted and I felt like you no longer needed me here. After the decision was made for me, I start to fall into depression (Not knowing that I was). This depression would lead to physical pain. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was causing my pain. I was in and out of the hospital, doctor appointments and a few surgeries. My migraines, vertigo and blurred vision were taking over my life. I couldn’t see clearly, I was losing sight of you; I was losing out on my family and my life. My doctor finally said I should try depression pills, (what!) I wasn't depressed, but as we sat and talked then I realized I was suffering (from depression and anxiety). I came to you with all my pain and tears and I asked you to take this from me because I no longer can carry it on my own. I wanted my life back, I wanted to trust in you again. I wanted to live like I knew you were always for me and not against me. With a lot of prayer (from family and friends) I started to find my way back. Im slowly healing and I'll never stop fighting to become the women you created me to be. I no longer want to live in fear.
I am who God says I am. I have what He says I have. I will do what God says I can do, Christ lives in me -Gal 2:20 Our true value doesn't lie in our abilities but rather in our identity as a child of God. Rest in God's grace and be defined by who you are in Him - Christine Caine
(worship) - Known by Tauren Wells- Who you say I Am, So Will I by Hillsong -Reckless Love by Cory Asbury -Breakup song by Francesca Battistelli
What does WOMEN+WORDS mean to you?
I Love Women + Words, its a gathering of women and their spoken word. Its a safe place for us to share our journey, its a place where you can find Hope in the darkness. Its a great way to share your story to help support one another.
Our book of Proverbs is the power of WISDOM. What wisdom would you love to share?
Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In the Bible, who or what book inspires you?
Psalm and Proverbs
Favorite Scripture at the moment:
Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ (Ephesians 1:3).
A Time of Worship
Reflect on Luisa’s story and word and let it connect to your heart. Listen to one of her favorite worship songs called Known, by Tauren Wells.