The past month starting my new job, I knew I was waking up to a something that I did not enjoy going to. I knew that God has made me realize, that a part of me can’t be in this position for another year or the next few weeks. Besides the fact that I had an amazing team, it was beyond that, it was how I was draining my complete soul and being and not doing what I love, what I know God has placed in my heart to do.
When I got hired, I realized I only told two people in my life, and that was my parents. I struggled trying to be the best daughter they had raised me to be. To find finish school, find that 9-5 job…. I thought my new position in a great company would be the greatest news and telling them I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that this is something I can be so proud for, that I am back at a company that will allow me to grow and truly excel. I understand being a parent, you begin to worry about your children and hope they have that stable job. When there is something unsettling that it makes them question and doubt. I knew that if I were to tell them, that I don’t like where I am at, that they would probably say, “it’s only temporary, you can move up later in the company to do what you love, just work hard.” I was trying to think of my parents and only make them feel I am following what they expect from me. I know they are proud of where I am at and I know that they are happy for me to be in this job. I respect them and am grateful for how they have raised me to be. It came back to what my dad would always said, “do the right thing, make good choices”, with the meaning of this context, he may have meant otherwise. But to me, it was doing the right thing and making a good choice knowing that where I am at now, isn’t for me.
I began to lose sight of my faith and trust in God that negativity was my norm. I let the enemy take complete control of my mind with doubt, range, confusion, and simply letting his words drain me. I felt I was spending 8 hours of my time 5x a week doing something that wasn’t me. The negatives of my job, was making me become completely negative in myself and talent. The team saw otherwise, but deeply I could not stop expressing to the security guard that there is more to me than what I do here.
“If you are getting up every morning and going to a job that you hate, that is not living. You’re just existing.” Let me go back about two years ago, when my husband approached me, saying the same exact thing to me. He was in the same exact position I am in today. At the time he was working as an event planner for a property management and had the opportunity to get promoted at a job that provided us more money. It also was a good time for me to continue to stay at home. When he said, “I am not happy where I am at. I need to make a jump.” I didn’t understand what he meant at the time to “jump”, but the words I am not happy, hit my core. It made me realize, I don’t want my husband to come home every day completely unhappy and not doing what he was meant to do. I knew he had a passion in coaching but he had to stop that to provide for our family, so that meant, working a job that he had to do, not what he wanted to do. He had me watch this amazing video by Steve Harvey Jump, and started to tear and I told him, “Quit your job. Put in your two weeks now, and I will help you find your dream job.” It’s so hard to tell this story without crying because now I see him as the most happiest man on earth, because he is doing what he loves, what God had intended him to do. It wasn’t easy then, because as stated by Steve Harvey “your parachute will not open right away…” He accepted a job that was part time and he was in a field that he enjoyed doing. But it being part time, that had me step up to find a job overnight to help our family financially, and so my husband can do what he loves. Upon this part time we struggled financially, where we lived paycheck to paycheck until I was able to find a steady job. I went from working part time overnight to gaining a position full time. Then a few weeks later, he got another offer to work at a elementary school as a Recess Coach. Then another job, as a Basketball & Volleyball coach. These jobs kept coming and he has been a coach for these companies for the past 2 years, changing the lives of students and coming home with loads of notes that reads “you are the best teacher ever”... “thank you for being so nice coach” etc. All the positive great things, you want in your career. He is now working in his career doing what he wants to do. It only took knowing that God knew his talents and he did too and all he had to do was jump.
Now after 2 years, I reflect how I am in his position he was in. He started to noticed how I was and those who saw me, could tell how I was. I wasn’t myself. We were at the store just to get out of the house and because I was being the negative ol’ me. Brian wanted to make sure I wasn’t home but to enjoy life with the children by going to the park and to the store. It was when we were at target, I usually do not go into the book section, but I have been diving my nose in books lately, I said to myself I am going to check it out. I stopped when I saw “Jump”, by Steve Harvey. I picked it up and quickly ran to Brian. “Look babe, is God speaking to me right now?” He smiled and we bought the book. I finished the book in two days and it made me feel on this new level of happiness.
Yesterday March 29, 2017 we decided to go on a family walk in Santana Row. I told him, can we check out my favorite store, Paper Source? I mentioned how it was my first time in that store back when I went to LA and how it made me feel so happy. Upon approaching, I see the sign “Hiring part time, please inquire inside”. I quickly walked in, talked to the girls at the counter and expressed my passion in calligraphy and that I am interested in applying. It was about an hour, and I just roamed the store. Being in that store made me feel like butterflies in my heart like when you see your crush. I need to be here, in this very environment.
It was when I decided that I needed to quit my job. I was on this high of telling him my ideas, what I am going to do next, how this job is something that will allow me to be me etc. But then fear came to me, I started to question if we would make it. I started to feel fear creeping and the enemy stirring my mind to just stay where I am at. That was just a few hours ago of writing this that I told him I wasn’t going to do it. I told him that I wasn’t going to get hired, it is not going to work out with our schedule. I completely tried to back out, because of my fear to jump at something that I know God is stirring in my heart. Well after my husband called to talk me out of it and calm me down… I decided to apply. After hitting the submit button, I realized I made this small jump. I don’t know what God is planning but it is time for me to just trust Him wholeheartedly and to know that He will always provide.
Are you ready to make a jump? Not to completely quit your job like how I feel but something to take you somewhere you know you are destined to be. Watch this video, your life will change and I guarantee for the better….
“If you just JUMP, one time.”