“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” - George Bernard Shaw
It made me really reflect about my week and my life. I have always saw myself as a creative person and always trying to “find” me. As a journey being a mother, it was when I thought I lost my identity as a being. It was this very quote that had me thinking that our lives are really about creating. We live off our experiences, our struggles and how that is used to create who we are.
I was living very negative for the past week, just dreading going to work and complaining about how I wish I wasn’t there. It probably was the fact that I work in an environment where complaints are known. Like it’s the norm to the hospitality world, that sometimes it’s about kissing asses or simply telling them how it is. But of course, in the most professional way possible…I remember when a guest was so upset because they had “two beds”, and note their reservation was booked for two. It was seeing how quickly people can become so upset or angry. It was seeing those who are known as members think they have priority to everything when we all should patiently wait in line. I wish that sometimes there could be more compassion and understanding. But every work environment has their pros and cons, it’s really how we’re dealing with it and how we learn from what is happening. It was seeing guests who would be so upset over the little things, “wow, that’s expensive”... “you charge for parking?”....”omg there is a deposit of $50?”....that these negative vibes created a negative vibe in me. I began to realize that, this was becoming toxic and I was simply making myself miserable when I could have just let it go. I learned to just be appreciative over my job, my life and simply just myself as a being. I am so fortunate to even have a job that I know people out there struggle to get or keep one. I began to see that this is temporary and a plan that I know God set me here for now. What really stood out being at my new job, is the amazing team I have. I have connected closely to some coworkers where our conversations are so deep and inspiring.
My husband and I have been in our weak moments. It’s him trying to overcome grieving from the loss of his father and me not feeling completely happy with my current job. It’s the desire of me working hard to make a living off my passion. It’s where I come to terms to be content with where I am. We have also began to realize with these negative or weak moments, we have lost sight of our priority; and that is putting God first. We decided to set out time in the beginning of our day or when we are home together to pray or read.
I woke up at 6am yesterday and started to write to share this very message. It was when I decided to pray to God to allow me to live in His ways and trust Him to open my heart to what He wanted me to be surrounded by. My day was filled with so much love. My children woke me up to kissing my face and laughing. We had breakfast at the table and had a day filled with imagination. My husband came home and we decided to take the kids to the park to play. It was watching Landon and Bailey be surrounded in an environment of learning, exploring and having fun. Using their senses to create meaning as children.
I then attended my life group for my church. I was so nervous but through the process, having dinner while having conversations of our spiritual journey; I realized that connection with people and hearing their story is what thrives me. It’s the fact of knowing a story of struggle and finding God or just simply living a meaningful life. This is what makes me feel so connected and inspired. Later during the night, I met with my old coworker that I used to work with and how her and her good friend were starting a business. When they were talking about what they wanted it simply made me happy to see how passionate she was in sharing. She had a rough past year and it was this year where it was about her redefining her life, for herself and her son. Meeting her business partner was even more amazing, because she had a connection with me by going to the same church. We had this understanding of faith. Even though it has been awhile that she has gone, a part of the reason I felt God planned this divine appointment for all of us to see some meaning to our meeting.
My day was filled with spiritual connection, positive outcomes, and storytelling that made me tear with joy, because this is what God wanted me to see. He wanted me to forget about the negative part of my mind and to understand that who we are surrounded by, the relationships we are in, the people we encounter and our experiences create these special meanings to our lives. And just sometimes, it takes stepping back and recognizing Gods love to know and understand His ways.
Begin to recognize your own surroundings… is there something that you need to change? We have to learn to see and surround ourselves through the positive outlook of our lives… even if it means to let something go, it’s okay. If it’s something that we have to deal with, know that it’s only creating us to be better.